This upcoming weekend two of my dear friends are tying the knot, so naturally my heart is aflutter with loving thoughts and my brain is thinking about love in all its many and beautiful forms.
Romantic love, familial love, platonic love, self love, which I may venture to say the root of all other types of love. (Check out A Lesson on Self Love for more). I write about self love quite often as I believe without it we cannot truly express love for another human being. That being said, I also believe that love is a process not a moment or a constant.
We must choose to love and continue to choose to love over and over again in order to nourish the relationships and feelings we share with others.
“A thousand candles can be lighted from the flame of one candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness can be spread without diminishing that of yourself.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
I believe love to be the same way. We can share our love with others time and time again without diminishing our loving heart.
It is important to remember however that if we do not light and nourish our own love for the self, we cannot light or share our love with others.
“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
― Stephen Chbosky,
As Chbosky says, we must also truly love ourselves or we will not allow others to love us the way we want to be loved. We may want to be loved one way, but deep down not believe we deserve it.
The inward look at this is always difficult. We do not like to see the darker parts of ourselves so we often bury them under false pravado and fake smiles.
If you are noticing patterns within your love life that you no longer wish to cycle through, start asking yourself what these patterns tell you.
Do you look to fix? Are you turning relationships into projects? Do you accept and settle for those who do not treat you well?
Ask yourself why. If you do not know or need guidance finding the answers within yourself, I am always here for you my friend.
Much love to you!