Are you constantly working on yourself?
Are you working on finding out what makes you tick?
What gets you fired up?
How about what holds you back?
What do you do to keep yourself playing small?
Or, what scares the ever living daylights out of you?I have made my work personal development, so these are all questions I try to ask myself regularly.
My recent topic, however, has been the last one. What scares me so badly it causes me to pause? Especially when I’m am on the brink of something new, big and exciting.
The fact is, anything outside our comfort zone is going to be scary and going to push us, and when we cross the threshold here, this is when our fears and doubts are going to come up.
It’s perfectly natural. The question is, how will you react?
Recently, I’ve been fighting a bit of paralysis.
I’ve been procrastinating and holding back from working on the things that I know will move me forward and really progress my career in the direction I want.
I’ve caught myself watching far too much television, scrolling through my phone and wasting away the hours, mindlessly.
And then I’ve gotten judgmental. I’ve become frustrated with myself and asked myself, why am I doing this?
Can you relate? Have you seen this cycle in yourself before?
In the process of moving out of this space, I’ve been working on uncovering many of the ways I sabotage myself, mostly because of fear.
The current most prominent fear is this: the more success I achieve, the bigger the risk becomes for failure.
You know the saying- the higher you climb, the farther you fall.
Recognizing this, no wonder I have been procrastinating so much.
Part of me wants to work hard and grow while part of me wants to stay small and in the relative certainty of my comfort zone
We all have blocks. We all have fears. We all have excuses and stories and baggage that we have been curating over the years.
And we also all have a choice.
We can choose to be run by these issues for days/weeks/months/years or we can face them. We can recognize them, acknowledge them, thank them for the lessons and decide they are not serving us.
I’m not saying this is an easy task by any means. I’m also not telling you that there is a magic pill or quick fix.
We have to be ever vigilant on our path to growth and success (whatever success looks like for us) because no matter how much work we do on ourselves, these stories never really disappear completely. They become quieter, less prominent, less active, less likely to be triggered at every little bump in the road, but only when we pay attention to our thoughts/emotions/actions. When we pay attention to what is really going on.
Are we trying to protect our self from something? Are we coming up against the edge of our comfort zone? Are we afraid of something?
When we learn what causes us to spiral or tailspin, what causes our stories to be brought up and our defenses to engage, we can be better prepared to face the thoughts and emotions that try to keep us playing small.
My clients are all too familiar with me telling them “this takes practice” and “awareness is a muscle we have to work out like anything else” and “celebrate the small stepping stones as much as the big wins” (when it comes to awareness, and anything else for that matter).
The practice is what helps us move out of the stuck stage faster. It is what helps us recognize before we have wasted more time than we’d like. The practice helps us face our fears/worries/doubts/emotions in the moment rather than ruminating on them for hours later on.
So here is the thing, we will be afraid and we don’t have to be controlled by that fear.
We will hit speed bumps and they don’t have to be the end of the world.
The choice is in our hands, which decision will you make?